Appointments, Scans and sex of the baby

This blog is going to talk about scans, both 12 week and 20 week scan, general health checks, finding out the gender of the baby as well as screening for Down’s Syndrome. It will also discuss the appointments that we have had, both necessary and unnecessary.-

As we had been trying to conceive for 2 years before falling pregnant, as a couple we had discussed a lot of the questions that most couples face during their pregnancy.

Firstly did we want to find out the gender of the baby? This was a definite no! As we wanted that surprise on the day I give birth, of what are we actually having, added to this, you can find a lot of gender neutral items for the nursery and clothes, which still look really good. So why ruin the surprise, its like partially unwrapping your presents a month before christmas!

Secondly, the screening for Down’s Syndrome, did we want this? Again a definite no! My partner has worked for years within the area of special needs. Therefore as a couple we don’t see how even if the baby will have Down’s Syndrome, why we would have a termination. Children can live after being born at 20 weeks (my partner having worked with many), so how can a termination at this point not be anything other than murder? Especially, considering the length of time that we have been trying to get pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy because of a test that tells the parents the chance of the baby having Down’s Syndrome, surely all the effort would be wasted. As the test is not 100% conclusive, added to which it has been found to potentially increase the risk of miscarriage in the later stages of pregnancy. So really this was never a question, as the answer was always going to be the same. We were slightly shocked at our first midwife appointment, when she was shocked that we didn’t want this test, to the point that she asked me 4 times, before then asking my partner, as if he would change my mind. This really aggravated us, as surely it is our choice whether on not we have the test, and should not be judged on it, if its different to her view.

These were 2 items, which arise during your antenatal appointments, be it scans or midwife appointments. As it happens we have gone to more appointments than we need to, mainly because of us being nervous and unexperienced first time parents. Shortly after we found out that we were pregnant, we booked an appointment to see the doctor for them to complete a ‘proper’ pregnancy test and confirm that we were pregnant. At this appointment we were told that there was no need to book a doctors appointment, as the pregnancy tests you use at home are as accurate as the ones which the doctors use, so we could have just booked a midwife appointment.

This we did, unfortunately the midwifes only work on specific days at our local GP practice, meaning that my other half had to get time off, within a week of starting a new job, luckily his boss was very understanding. We attended this appointment, with what I must say was a very miserable midwife, her attitude was not as friendly and calming as we would have liked, especially as we had made it abundantly clear that we were anxious first time parents. Saying this a friend, who I currently nanny for, says she had problems with the same midwife. This said, she did complete all the relevant blood tests and measurements, which all came back clear, I was particularly happy that my blood pressure and heart rate were really healthy. I was dated as being due on the 13th June 2014.

We then had the long wait for the first dating scan, which wasn’t until 5th December, when I would be nearly 13 weeks pregnant. This was a day that was so exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, as what would we do if there was no baby? Or if it was in the wrong place? Luckily all was fine, and we got the most amazing scan picture, this was probably because we were so far gone, meaning baby was larger than it would have been at 8 weeks. The only update was that we were actually due on the 11th June 2014, which was good, as the 13th was a Friday, not that we are superstisious or anything!

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Next we had a trip to the doctors shortly before our 2nd midwife appointment. We decided to go as I was having a lot of discomfort/pain on the right side of my lower abdomen. We weren’t seriously worried, as my continued morning sickness, suggested that it was a healthy baby. The doctor felt my belly and tried to find the heart beat, which he found, and it was one of the most amazing experiences to hear your babies heart beat for the first time. He confirmed that he didn’t feel anything was wrong,  and that it was just ‘growing pains’, but to come back if it continued. Our 2nd midwife appointment (with a different midwife), on Christmas Eve was to tell us the results of the blood test, were all clear, although I am Blood type O Negative, which means that I need to have an injection at 28 weeks and after birth, to prevent me producing antibodies, in case lotus is not the same blood group, which occurs if babies blood mixes with my own. This can cause problems for baby if this does occur, and can increase the risk of problems, should we get pregnant again. They also confirmed that we didn’t want the screening test, although this time as it was a different midwife, we weren’t made to feel bad for not wanting the test.

Next is the Anomaly scan, used to identify any problems with the way that baby is growing, which may make it unable to survive once born, which normally occurs at 20 weeks, with ours being on the 24th January 2014.

After that is 25 week Midwife appointment, where scan result is reviewed, and full antenatal examination is completed. At 28 weeks we have the same again, but this time having the Anti-D injection because of my blood type. Then at 31, 34, 36 and 38 weeks I have a full antenatal assessment, then at 40 weeks, all things permitting little lotus should enter the world as our little son or daughter.

Thank you for reading, I know some views will not be shared by others, and comments would be gratefully received.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Willow
    Apr 07, 2014 @ 23:36:36

    Hi there! I saw your comment on a website and got to your website. I recently got a shot of deposit in January. I’m due to have another shot but wasn’t told about the long term effects by my doctor!
    I’m looking to conceive and was wondering how long it took for you and your husband to fall pregnant and what you did or didn’t do to help conceive?

    Thank you!

    Reply

    • coupletryingtogetpregnant
      May 20, 2014 @ 21:02:14

      Hi,

      Sorry for the slow reply, been busy with bump and moving house! Never do things by halves. Lol

      For us, we had one depot shot in December 2011 and no more. We then fell pregnant in September 2013. So it took us approximately 18 months. However, it must be noted that a great part of falling pregnant is down to luck (that all things happen at relevant time) so this length of time might have been due to us not trying at the optimal time of the month. Hence we suggest getting an ovulation test, so that you now the best time for trying to conceive.

      Added to this, something we found, was that we fell pregnant, when we had almost given up. Or in other words, when we had stopped stressing about trying to get pregnant, as by trying it made it feel like it was a chore, and not the enjoyable experience it should be. So our advice is to relax and not worry, as what is meant to happen will happen, and stressing over it will not change.

      Good luck and please don’t hesitate to contact us with any other questions

      Reply

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