Just ordered the Nursery Furniture!!!

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As you are more than likely aware we are in the middle of moving house (so far taken nearly 5 months and haven’t exchanged yet, joy of selling and buying a shared ownership house!).  So we have really waited as long as possible before ordering the cot set, as it would be more to move and could get damaged.

When ordering the Rialto Ivory Set from Mamas and Papas, we really had no choice than get it delivered in 4 weeks time (we really should be in the new place by then) and get it delivered to a family members.  I have however just noticed that Mama and Papas has sent us a receipt to our email address, which says the wrong delivery address, which means I have to take time out to contact them!  We both checked at the time that it had the right address, as for some reason once an order is placed even if its 4 weeks until delivery you cant change the address (I would understand this if it was getting delivered with in a week or so). Another personal hate is the way you spend over £400 and then have to pay delivery!!! I personally think this should be free.

I must now add that I have spoken to Mamas and Papas and they have informed me that we can change the delivery address and date up until 2 weeks before the delivery date. So no need to worry just yet.

On a happier note! 

Why did we choose this Nursery Set??

We have through out pregnancy looked at lots of different shops at the sets they have and the prices, we really liked one from Mothercare, but couldn’t justify spending over £800 on a Nursery Set plus getting a mattress. When we went into Mama and Papas we saw the  Rialto Ivory Set and really liked it, however we didn’t have the money and put it down on the “things to buy list”. A close family member offered to buy us a nursery set, so once we saw this set was in a sale with an extra 10% off, we soon ordered it.

In the shop it felt really soild and well made, but this really is another blog once we have the Nursery Set.

Thank you for reading, comments welcome!

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Appointments, Scans and sex of the baby

This blog is going to talk about scans, both 12 week and 20 week scan, general health checks, finding out the gender of the baby as well as screening for Down’s Syndrome. It will also discuss the appointments that we have had, both necessary and unnecessary.-

As we had been trying to conceive for 2 years before falling pregnant, as a couple we had discussed a lot of the questions that most couples face during their pregnancy.

Firstly did we want to find out the gender of the baby? This was a definite no! As we wanted that surprise on the day I give birth, of what are we actually having, added to this, you can find a lot of gender neutral items for the nursery and clothes, which still look really good. So why ruin the surprise, its like partially unwrapping your presents a month before christmas!

Secondly, the screening for Down’s Syndrome, did we want this? Again a definite no! My partner has worked for years within the area of special needs. Therefore as a couple we don’t see how even if the baby will have Down’s Syndrome, why we would have a termination. Children can live after being born at 20 weeks (my partner having worked with many), so how can a termination at this point not be anything other than murder? Especially, considering the length of time that we have been trying to get pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy because of a test that tells the parents the chance of the baby having Down’s Syndrome, surely all the effort would be wasted. As the test is not 100% conclusive, added to which it has been found to potentially increase the risk of miscarriage in the later stages of pregnancy. So really this was never a question, as the answer was always going to be the same. We were slightly shocked at our first midwife appointment, when she was shocked that we didn’t want this test, to the point that she asked me 4 times, before then asking my partner, as if he would change my mind. This really aggravated us, as surely it is our choice whether on not we have the test, and should not be judged on it, if its different to her view.

These were 2 items, which arise during your antenatal appointments, be it scans or midwife appointments. As it happens we have gone to more appointments than we need to, mainly because of us being nervous and unexperienced first time parents. Shortly after we found out that we were pregnant, we booked an appointment to see the doctor for them to complete a ‘proper’ pregnancy test and confirm that we were pregnant. At this appointment we were told that there was no need to book a doctors appointment, as the pregnancy tests you use at home are as accurate as the ones which the doctors use, so we could have just booked a midwife appointment.

This we did, unfortunately the midwifes only work on specific days at our local GP practice, meaning that my other half had to get time off, within a week of starting a new job, luckily his boss was very understanding. We attended this appointment, with what I must say was a very miserable midwife, her attitude was not as friendly and calming as we would have liked, especially as we had made it abundantly clear that we were anxious first time parents. Saying this a friend, who I currently nanny for, says she had problems with the same midwife. This said, she did complete all the relevant blood tests and measurements, which all came back clear, I was particularly happy that my blood pressure and heart rate were really healthy. I was dated as being due on the 13th June 2014.

We then had the long wait for the first dating scan, which wasn’t until 5th December, when I would be nearly 13 weeks pregnant. This was a day that was so exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, as what would we do if there was no baby? Or if it was in the wrong place? Luckily all was fine, and we got the most amazing scan picture, this was probably because we were so far gone, meaning baby was larger than it would have been at 8 weeks. The only update was that we were actually due on the 11th June 2014, which was good, as the 13th was a Friday, not that we are superstisious or anything!

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Next we had a trip to the doctors shortly before our 2nd midwife appointment. We decided to go as I was having a lot of discomfort/pain on the right side of my lower abdomen. We weren’t seriously worried, as my continued morning sickness, suggested that it was a healthy baby. The doctor felt my belly and tried to find the heart beat, which he found, and it was one of the most amazing experiences to hear your babies heart beat for the first time. He confirmed that he didn’t feel anything was wrong,  and that it was just ‘growing pains’, but to come back if it continued. Our 2nd midwife appointment (with a different midwife), on Christmas Eve was to tell us the results of the blood test, were all clear, although I am Blood type O Negative, which means that I need to have an injection at 28 weeks and after birth, to prevent me producing antibodies, in case lotus is not the same blood group, which occurs if babies blood mixes with my own. This can cause problems for baby if this does occur, and can increase the risk of problems, should we get pregnant again. They also confirmed that we didn’t want the screening test, although this time as it was a different midwife, we weren’t made to feel bad for not wanting the test.

Next is the Anomaly scan, used to identify any problems with the way that baby is growing, which may make it unable to survive once born, which normally occurs at 20 weeks, with ours being on the 24th January 2014.

After that is 25 week Midwife appointment, where scan result is reviewed, and full antenatal examination is completed. At 28 weeks we have the same again, but this time having the Anti-D injection because of my blood type. Then at 31, 34, 36 and 38 weeks I have a full antenatal assessment, then at 40 weeks, all things permitting little lotus should enter the world as our little son or daughter.

Thank you for reading, I know some views will not be shared by others, and comments would be gratefully received.

Baby Shows, are they worth going to?

Since having a look online at things we want to get for little lotus, we have noticed that places do baby shows. I have been to a few wedding shows before we got pregnant to see how much it will cost when we get married (we were quite shocked!)

Having done some research as to when and where they are, we really have one or maybe two options, either go to the Baby Show at the Excel (London) which is in February (21st-23rd) or we go to the the more local one which doesn’t have a date yet, but tend to be May time.

The one which we are looking to go to is the Baby show at the Excel, mainly as I will be roughly 24 weeks pregnant, as its a  three hour drive from where we live in Norfolk, I shouldn’t find the drive to uncomfortable (in theory), another factor of going to the Excel show, is that as its in “London” I would imagine they would have more stalls which I would hope have some decent “show specials”.                                                                   

lx4937_1Reusable nappies- we have heard a mix lot of reviews from friends, some loving them while others hate them. I would really like to be able to see what they are like and what is involved in using them

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Nursery set- we are looking for a set for no more than £500, so hoping they have some show specials, or some discount vouchers.

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Baby bean bags- a friend uses a normal  bean bag, so I know baby love them, but would like to see what the baby ones are like

baby rockerBaby Rockers- is it worth spending more? Or do the cheaper ones work just as well?

So as you can imagine, we are very excited and looking forward to getting some bargains, advice and hopefully lots of freebies (as everyone loves freebies)! If anyone has any suggestions about these shows, or products they recommend or would advise us to avoid, please leave a comment, as this is our first time, so all advice is gratefully recieved.

Thanks for reading.

One Born Every Minute: Showing all aspects of childbirth

This weeks episode of One Born Every Minute, was more emotional than previous episodes. It showed the heart break and anguish of the parents of Kaiden, who unfortunately had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia, a rare life-threatening condition, that affects 1 in every 2200 births.

It means that there is a hole in the diaphragm of the developing foetus, therefore the organs of the stomach can move up into the chest cavity. This as a result decreases the size that the lungs can develop grow to, ultimately meaning that once the child is born, and has to try and breath for itself, it encounters difficulty. As the lungs and blood supply, aren’t suitably developed to, quoting medical professionals, be compatible with life.

We must start by saying, that we can’t possible imagine what Hayley and Pete went through, it is a dreadful thing to happen to anybody and our thoughts go out to them, and all that have found themselves in a similar situation. You managed to stay so strong and united throughout, that should we have to go through anything like that we can be half as strong as you were.

We also want to praise channel 4 and One Born Every Minute, for having the bravery and honesty to show a topic, that happens daily around the world, but is easily overlooked in the happy and positive world of child birth. As we know from personal experience, my mother had a miscarriage, and a friend of ours had a child born with Hypoxic-Ischaemic Encephalopathy, who after 4 days of intensive treatment died in his parents arms.

While we don’t want babies to die, we were becoming slightly annoyed with the way the media and world in general assumes and presents this image that getting pregnant and having a baby is as simple as anything. When for a large number of people this is not the case, be it due to fertility problems or problems during or shortly after pregnancy.

So we thank mostly Hayley and Pete, but also channel 4 and One Born Every Minute for covering this story. It may be only the tip of the ice berg, but its a start to showing the world the problems that many couples go through in their quest to have children.

Is ‘Trying’ the problem?

With more and more friends getting pregnant  mainly after a few months of being with there new partner. It has started to make me wonder, is it the trying which is actually causing the problem?

I mean two ways to explain how I’m coming to this conclusion is, if you think about how you are breathing, you will breath differently and same goes for walking, next time your having a walk think about how your walking. If your anything like me your start to move your hips a lot more, walk faster and end up walking in a really strange pattern.

None of my friends on Facebook, have tried for there baby and yet they are pregnant. I’m just thinking that maybe once you start to try for things, everything gets a lot harder and not as easy to do.

The problem is once you start “trying”  I think it would become impossible not to try and go back to thinking we don’t want a baby or just not thinking about it at all.  Obviously there are thousands in fact millions of people who try for a baby and in a matter of say 2 years, get the result they wanted. While there are other people who don’t, like there are millions of people who can rub there tummy and pat there head. I know I cant do that… but you cant compare that to getting pregnant, but it shows not everyone is the same.

Thanks for reading and again any comments or ideas would be gratefully received.

Lovehoney Enjoy Lubricant: Worth saving money?

We have been using a new lube lately made by Love Honey , the reason we started wasn’t because someone recommended it, but  because we occasionally need something as we had run out of conceive plus. Just before payday and with that being around £14. It made sense to go for a cheaper make. We get regular emails from Love Honey and we thought it would be a good idea to see what they have. We saw there own brand Enjoy, we thought for £5.99 for a 100ml bottle it wasn’t to bad and what have we got to lose.

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Pros

It’s not too thick and it’s not too runny so it is easily spread. It doesn’t dry quickly which is a massive plus, It leaves you feeling lovely and sooth and not tacky like some other lubes can.  It also comes in a really nice looking bottle, with a really nice simple design on it.  Therefore overall we feel the price is good.

Cons

There really aren’t many, if any, cons which would put us off buying this again. Only thing I can think of which is a down side is there is no pump, so you have to pour it out, only a couple of times have we been left with more than we needed, this was when in a rush and wanting to get going.

We used to always get embarrassed when going into a shops to buy lube and condoms. On one occasion my partner, thinking he had got around the embarrassment went to a pay at a self service till, for there to be a problem with the deal he got, which resulted in the  till flashing and the lady coming, so really didn’t save any of the embarrassment. So for people like us, buying these items from a website is always a plus. We have been regular customers of Love Honey and would recommend them to anyone. There packing is very discreet, normally just a brown box or brown padded envelope.

Scientifically, we feel that the Conceive plus is the better lubricant for couples trying to get pregnant. However, for price, you can’t go far wrong with Lovehoney’s Enjoy Lube. We are going to try it for a couple of months before reverting back to conceive plus, so will obviously let you know if we get pregnant using it in the mean time.

How much does a good diet play in getting pregnant.

We have touched on this subject before in other blogs, but in this one I want to look into how much diet can come into getting pregnant.

I have just done a BMI calculator and rather shocked my self. This was because after I filled out all of the details (height,weight and age) and then pressed get results, It came back that I was obese. This was rather shocking as it’s something I wouldn’t have said my self I was. I then went back and checked the details, to find I had in fact put I was 15.5 stone rather than 12.5. I then corrected the details and pressed get results again, which not to my surprise came back I was over weight, this wasn’t as shocking as when it came back I was obese, as I’m about a 14-16 (UK).

Money the last few months for us as been slightly tight. This is mainly down to my partner having to drive 60 miles (5 days a week) just to get to work using approx £250 a month on fuel. We also fit into what can only be called a loop hole of not being able to claim any benefits this is down to him working full time, although I could live with family (mum and dad) who both work and still able to claim JSA. This is a rant which I won’t start on here. I have been looking for work for some months now, and this has put my self under a lot of stress and heart ache with getting told you haven’t been successful.

As a result out diet in the last few months has been very poor when it comes to eating fresh and local meat. Although we have been very lucky, and my other half’s mother has at times, given us a couple of bags of food, to fill the cupboards back up again)

So whats changed?

We now buy a half of our weekly shop from a food shop called Iceland  I will be totally honest, before money was tight I was a massive snob when it came to buying food from such a place, as it was “cheap” and “frozen” . One thing I will say about the things we have been buying from Iceland have been fantastic and value for money, such as a really nice easy carve three bird roast, some of there Chinese food is also nice but doesn’t have much in that’s “good for you” but then again does any chinese food when you have it from a take away?

One thing I have noticed about buying cheaper food is:

1) Doesnt keep you full for very long, so you end up eating snacks or feeling hungry

2) Hasn’t got the nutrition you get from buying fresh. I have noticed things like frozen chicken breasts, that it has a hell of a lot of things added to it and stupid amount of water!! They also add lots of salt.

3) The price of buying fresh and frozen is quite a big difference, with frozen being much cheaper.

4) Things like crisps (own brand) are far from anything like Walkers, but this does show when you can get a packet of 12 crisps for like 79p (Tesco, Value) We personally don’t cut corners when it comes to crisps as my partner ends up having 2 packets of the value range, as the amount you get in a packet is a lot smaller.

Thats just a few things we have noticed when it comes to buying cheap. But when money is tight, you still need to eat and can only buy what you can afford.

We also buy fruit and veg when we can from the local market, although we have found that things don’t last as long and in a result at times has cost us more money, than if we bought from a super market, which is annoying when you want to save money but also support the local people/companies.

Some people say that when they eat badly, they feel tired and lack energy. Well this would be nothing new for me, as I’m always tired, so I feel that I cant have an opinion on this, but I can say its not made me feel even more tired. Which surely is something? However think since eating like we have been, that I have put on some weight. But again this could be down to me not working and not being on my feet as much, just walking the dog.

I have been taken my vitamins as I’m unsure I haven’t been getting enough of them though my diet. 

So are any or all of these having an effect on us getting pregnant? As obviously we aren’t pregnant yet, but that could be down to any reason; stress, diet, tiredness or just that the depo injection is still having some effect on my body?

I am still applying for jobs, and my other half is trying to get a job closer to home, so that should sort out both stress and financial problems. As such we should be able to get more fresh food, so therefore helping our diet. Which in theory should help my energy levels.

So then it comes down to whether my body is capable of carrying a baby, I obviously hope that we will be able to get pregnant, but it is a concern that we both worry about. But as the Baz Luhman Sunscreen song says, worrying solves nothing.

So we will remain positive, as we have no definite evidence to say either of us has low fertility, so have to relax and take it easy.

Thank You

We as a couple want to thank all the people who follow our blog, through wordpress or twitter. A blog that we started as a way to try and answer our questions regarding trying to get pregnant after having the depo provera injection, has recently seemed to get a lot bigger.

We are now lucky enough to be in communication with a leading fertility department in England, who are happy to answer questions regarding fertility and IVF on twitter (@HewittFertility). We have also been asked to feature on another persons website, giving a short summary of our journey trying to get pregnant.

These are only small achievements, but for something that we expected to have a few views a month, it has made us feel very proud and honoured. We can only hope that it continues to grow in such a way.

Our long term view is to buy our own domain name, so would like some feedback on what name people think would be most suitable:

 

 

Thank you for your continued support, and we hope to keep writing blogs that are both informative and interesting. If you have any topics that you wish us to cover, please comment and we will research it and blog our findings.

One Born Every Minute

We like a lot of people love this show on channel 4. We are currently waiting for the new episode to start (series 4 episode 2) only 30 mins to go!!!!

Anyways this has got us thinking about how we will cope and what the labor to go, it even scares me to think about it even though I’m not currently pregnant.

So whats really freaking me out about the whole thing?

1) The pain! Which I think is the main thing a lot of people worry about, as being a first timer having no idea how bad it really is, slightly scary! I will be the first to admit it I’m a massive wimp especially when it comes to hitting your little toe/foot on the end of the bed/furniture.

2) Is a weird one, I do worry about how my other half will be on the day. As much as I love him, he can be really annoying and tries to wind me up. After watching an old One Born Every Min where the husband/boyfriend is eating fish and chips in the room the lady was currently in labour really made me think about this. My partner is diabetic so would need to eat, and as much as I could cope with fish and chips I’m unsure how I would if I was in pain… Lets hope he reads this and remembers to take some sandwiches instead of hot food.

3) Irritating midwife… watching OBEM, there are some midwives who are lovely and would be the perfect person to guides us through that stressful experience. However, there are some on the show, who irritate the hell out of me while watching, let alone if I was in the pain of labour!

4) What if something goes wrong…either during pregnancy or labour, as a friend baby recently died shortly after birth due to problems with brain activity.

5) Last week there was a couple that had to keep coming into hospital, just to be sent home again and again, this would be one of my worst fears, as would feel like everybody’s time would be wasted.

Some things we have already talked about as a couple, are things we really want to happen when I am in labour.

  •  we want to make sure that we are together, as I hate hospitals, so if he is sent home, I will be going with him. And hence if I need to stay overnight, so will he. To prove this point, I left hospital within an hour and half of having all 4 wisdom teeth out (under local anaesthetic)
  • As I am so bad with pain, I will be making use of as much pain relief as possible…Hello Epidural!!!
  • we plan on only us to being there at the birth, mainly as its something special for us as a couple, and also I’m sure my mother would wind me up and make the whole thing 20x worst.

As we aren’t talking to friends and family about getting pregnant and that, can’t really ask them if these are normal fears and concerns. And are they unreasonable demands???

Please feel free to let us know if other people have felt the same as we do, and the things that you have been put on your birthing plan.

What vitamins should I be taking????

Tonight I’ve been wondering what vitamins should I be taking when trying for a baby. My doctor told me when I came off the depo shot, 8 months ago, that I should be taking folic acid (400mg a day) which I have been doing, it’s not expensive to buy, I picked mine up from my local asda store for a few pounds, I’m sure other shops sell folic acid, with a cheap price tag.

You can also get folic acid from your diet, such as in leafy vegetables, breakfast cereals and bread it’s always best to check the food labels. It is though impossible to make sure you are getting enough folic acid from the food you eat (only way to make sure is to take a supplement)

Why is folic acid good to take?

It can reduce the risk of having a baby with a spinal cord problem, such as spina bifida. This is because a baby’s spinal cord needs a regular supply of folic acid, during early pregnancy. Evidence also shows that folic acid reduces the risk of a baby having heart defects, cleft lip and palate and the risk of premature labour.

After looking online today, I have pretty much gone around in a circle and ended up more confused than I was when I started looking.

From what I have seen online it varies a lot from what people say, there isn’t a clear yes and no as to what to take apart from the folic acid, that seems a must to take at least 3 months before conceiving and keep taking until you are 12 weeks pregnant.

Something I found interesting, is you shouldn’t take vitamin A supplement or any supplement containing vitamin a, due to a risk of harming the baby (birth defects)

Other vitamins people say to take before pregnancy.

Zinc: as this can help with ovulation and fertility in women and also seman and testosterone in men

Coenzyme Q10: there have been studies to show this can help with both female and male fertility.

Omega 3: particularly if you are having IVF. Human body can’t produce it, so need to get from foods, such as fish, plan and nut oils. It is meant help to improve embryo quality.

Iron: pregnant women need 27mg daily, which is more than normal female RDA. Iron is involved in the production of haemoglobin, which is vital for carrying oxygen around the body, and hence will help with the development of the embryo.

Calcium: as all the adverts tell us we need calcium for healthy teeth and bones, therefore it should not be a surprise that the growing foetus also requires it. Meaning that pregnant/and planning women need to raise their intake to allow for this.

Vitamin B6: meant to help prevent morning sickness if taken pre-conception.

You can buy packs of vitamins such as
Vitabotics Pregnacare Conception, Vitabotics Pregnacare Plus and Vitabotics Pregnacare His and Hers they have some of the vitamins in that I have said above. This sounds like a easier way of taking, than taking lots of different supplements.

I am happy to give anything a go, if it means the outcome is to be a baby. I believe that the placebo effect can really work when it comes to pregnancy. So if you think these extra vitamins can work, then maybe they will!

Please feel free to comment if you have any experience in supplements or aids to getting pregnant.

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