Appointments, Scans and sex of the baby

This blog is going to talk about scans, both 12 week and 20 week scan, general health checks, finding out the gender of the baby as well as screening for Down’s Syndrome. It will also discuss the appointments that we have had, both necessary and unnecessary.-

As we had been trying to conceive for 2 years before falling pregnant, as a couple we had discussed a lot of the questions that most couples face during their pregnancy.

Firstly did we want to find out the gender of the baby? This was a definite no! As we wanted that surprise on the day I give birth, of what are we actually having, added to this, you can find a lot of gender neutral items for the nursery and clothes, which still look really good. So why ruin the surprise, its like partially unwrapping your presents a month before christmas!

Secondly, the screening for Down’s Syndrome, did we want this? Again a definite no! My partner has worked for years within the area of special needs. Therefore as a couple we don’t see how even if the baby will have Down’s Syndrome, why we would have a termination. Children can live after being born at 20 weeks (my partner having worked with many), so how can a termination at this point not be anything other than murder? Especially, considering the length of time that we have been trying to get pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy because of a test that tells the parents the chance of the baby having Down’s Syndrome, surely all the effort would be wasted. As the test is not 100% conclusive, added to which it has been found to potentially increase the risk of miscarriage in the later stages of pregnancy. So really this was never a question, as the answer was always going to be the same. We were slightly shocked at our first midwife appointment, when she was shocked that we didn’t want this test, to the point that she asked me 4 times, before then asking my partner, as if he would change my mind. This really aggravated us, as surely it is our choice whether on not we have the test, and should not be judged on it, if its different to her view.

These were 2 items, which arise during your antenatal appointments, be it scans or midwife appointments. As it happens we have gone to more appointments than we need to, mainly because of us being nervous and unexperienced first time parents. Shortly after we found out that we were pregnant, we booked an appointment to see the doctor for them to complete a ‘proper’ pregnancy test and confirm that we were pregnant. At this appointment we were told that there was no need to book a doctors appointment, as the pregnancy tests you use at home are as accurate as the ones which the doctors use, so we could have just booked a midwife appointment.

This we did, unfortunately the midwifes only work on specific days at our local GP practice, meaning that my other half had to get time off, within a week of starting a new job, luckily his boss was very understanding. We attended this appointment, with what I must say was a very miserable midwife, her attitude was not as friendly and calming as we would have liked, especially as we had made it abundantly clear that we were anxious first time parents. Saying this a friend, who I currently nanny for, says she had problems with the same midwife. This said, she did complete all the relevant blood tests and measurements, which all came back clear, I was particularly happy that my blood pressure and heart rate were really healthy. I was dated as being due on the 13th June 2014.

We then had the long wait for the first dating scan, which wasn’t until 5th December, when I would be nearly 13 weeks pregnant. This was a day that was so exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, as what would we do if there was no baby? Or if it was in the wrong place? Luckily all was fine, and we got the most amazing scan picture, this was probably because we were so far gone, meaning baby was larger than it would have been at 8 weeks. The only update was that we were actually due on the 11th June 2014, which was good, as the 13th was a Friday, not that we are superstisious or anything!

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Next we had a trip to the doctors shortly before our 2nd midwife appointment. We decided to go as I was having a lot of discomfort/pain on the right side of my lower abdomen. We weren’t seriously worried, as my continued morning sickness, suggested that it was a healthy baby. The doctor felt my belly and tried to find the heart beat, which he found, and it was one of the most amazing experiences to hear your babies heart beat for the first time. He confirmed that he didn’t feel anything was wrong, ¬†and that it was just ‘growing pains’, but to come back if it continued. Our 2nd midwife appointment (with a different midwife), on Christmas Eve was to tell us the results of the blood test, were all clear, although I am Blood type O Negative, which means that I need to have an injection at 28 weeks and after birth, to prevent me producing antibodies, in case lotus is not the same blood group, which occurs if babies blood mixes with my own. This can cause problems for baby if this does occur, and can increase the risk of problems, should we get pregnant again. They also confirmed that we didn’t want the screening test, although this time as it was a different midwife, we weren’t made to feel bad for not wanting the test.

Next is the Anomaly scan, used to identify any problems with the way that baby is growing, which may make it unable to survive once born, which normally occurs at 20 weeks, with ours being on the 24th January 2014.

After that is 25 week Midwife appointment, where scan result is reviewed, and full antenatal examination is completed. At 28 weeks we have the same again, but this time having the Anti-D injection because of my blood type. Then at 31, 34, 36 and 38 weeks I have a full antenatal assessment, then at 40 weeks, all things permitting little lotus should enter the world as our little son or daughter.

Thank you for reading, I know some views will not be shared by others, and comments would be gratefully received.

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How can friends not value the life of potential children???

This is a blog that have come about because of a so called friend really irritating me today!

As my regular readers will know, me and my partner are wanting to have a child, and due to a variety of circumstances we believe that it won’t be as easy as it could be.

So for someone I know to come up to me yesterday, with a pregnancy test, and said luckily I didn’t need this, as just started my period. But if I had, then I would have had an abortion, as its my body and I don’t want a child!

I really was in shock as to what to say… firstly if you really don’t want children then use protection, its not expensive and can be obtained free on the NHS. Secondly does she not know how sacred that life that she would have in her is? Yes I know that I am biased, but any child we conceive will be treasured and valued as a priceless life that we will be so happy to bring into the world!

I know that I not everyone will agree, but abortion is murder, as it is the end of a life… is it not? Granted there are occasions when having the baby would cause emotional hurt, such as a pregnancy after rape. However, I am a firm believer, and going to sound like Jeremy Kyle, if you don’t want a child use protection!

As there are so many people who can’t have children, or even like a friend has recently, their baby died after 5 days, due to complications. Is it fair to these people, for those who can have children, to throw away their lives so easily and care free?

I know that this a blog, that may well polarise our readers, but I was so cross and angry with this person, that I needed to vent it on here.

As always comments and opinions are welcome.

 

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