Appointments, Scans and sex of the baby

This blog is going to talk about scans, both 12 week and 20 week scan, general health checks, finding out the gender of the baby as well as screening for Down’s Syndrome. It will also discuss the appointments that we have had, both necessary and unnecessary.-

As we had been trying to conceive for 2 years before falling pregnant, as a couple we had discussed a lot of the questions that most couples face during their pregnancy.

Firstly did we want to find out the gender of the baby? This was a definite no! As we wanted that surprise on the day I give birth, of what are we actually having, added to this, you can find a lot of gender neutral items for the nursery and clothes, which still look really good. So why ruin the surprise, its like partially unwrapping your presents a month before christmas!

Secondly, the screening for Down’s Syndrome, did we want this? Again a definite no! My partner has worked for years within the area of special needs. Therefore as a couple we don’t see how even if the baby will have Down’s Syndrome, why we would have a termination. Children can live after being born at 20 weeks (my partner having worked with many), so how can a termination at this point not be anything other than murder? Especially, considering the length of time that we have been trying to get pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy because of a test that tells the parents the chance of the baby having Down’s Syndrome, surely all the effort would be wasted. As the test is not 100% conclusive, added to which it has been found to potentially increase the risk of miscarriage in the later stages of pregnancy. So really this was never a question, as the answer was always going to be the same. We were slightly shocked at our first midwife appointment, when she was shocked that we didn’t want this test, to the point that she asked me 4 times, before then asking my partner, as if he would change my mind. This really aggravated us, as surely it is our choice whether on not we have the test, and should not be judged on it, if its different to her view.

These were 2 items, which arise during your antenatal appointments, be it scans or midwife appointments. As it happens we have gone to more appointments than we need to, mainly because of us being nervous and unexperienced first time parents. Shortly after we found out that we were pregnant, we booked an appointment to see the doctor for them to complete a ‘proper’ pregnancy test and confirm that we were pregnant. At this appointment we were told that there was no need to book a doctors appointment, as the pregnancy tests you use at home are as accurate as the ones which the doctors use, so we could have just booked a midwife appointment.

This we did, unfortunately the midwifes only work on specific days at our local GP practice, meaning that my other half had to get time off, within a week of starting a new job, luckily his boss was very understanding. We attended this appointment, with what I must say was a very miserable midwife, her attitude was not as friendly and calming as we would have liked, especially as we had made it abundantly clear that we were anxious first time parents. Saying this a friend, who I currently nanny for, says she had problems with the same midwife. This said, she did complete all the relevant blood tests and measurements, which all came back clear, I was particularly happy that my blood pressure and heart rate were really healthy. I was dated as being due on the 13th June 2014.

We then had the long wait for the first dating scan, which wasn’t until 5th December, when I would be nearly 13 weeks pregnant. This was a day that was so exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, as what would we do if there was no baby? Or if it was in the wrong place? Luckily all was fine, and we got the most amazing scan picture, this was probably because we were so far gone, meaning baby was larger than it would have been at 8 weeks. The only update was that we were actually due on the 11th June 2014, which was good, as the 13th was a Friday, not that we are superstisious or anything!

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Next we had a trip to the doctors shortly before our 2nd midwife appointment. We decided to go as I was having a lot of discomfort/pain on the right side of my lower abdomen. We weren’t seriously worried, as my continued morning sickness, suggested that it was a healthy baby. The doctor felt my belly and tried to find the heart beat, which he found, and it was one of the most amazing experiences to hear your babies heart beat for the first time. He confirmed that he didn’t feel anything was wrong,  and that it was just ‘growing pains’, but to come back if it continued. Our 2nd midwife appointment (with a different midwife), on Christmas Eve was to tell us the results of the blood test, were all clear, although I am Blood type O Negative, which means that I need to have an injection at 28 weeks and after birth, to prevent me producing antibodies, in case lotus is not the same blood group, which occurs if babies blood mixes with my own. This can cause problems for baby if this does occur, and can increase the risk of problems, should we get pregnant again. They also confirmed that we didn’t want the screening test, although this time as it was a different midwife, we weren’t made to feel bad for not wanting the test.

Next is the Anomaly scan, used to identify any problems with the way that baby is growing, which may make it unable to survive once born, which normally occurs at 20 weeks, with ours being on the 24th January 2014.

After that is 25 week Midwife appointment, where scan result is reviewed, and full antenatal examination is completed. At 28 weeks we have the same again, but this time having the Anti-D injection because of my blood type. Then at 31, 34, 36 and 38 weeks I have a full antenatal assessment, then at 40 weeks, all things permitting little lotus should enter the world as our little son or daughter.

Thank you for reading, I know some views will not be shared by others, and comments would be gratefully received.

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Morning Sickness and Sickness Bug

As I previously mentioned, I have had, in my opinion, quite bad morning sickness. I have felt very sick every day since being about 5 weeks pregnant. Feeling sick while not being sick is a horrible sensation. However, shortly after my first midwife appointment, I came down with the sickness bug, which lasted for 3 days, leaving me unable to eat or even keep water down, as such I was extremely dehydrated to the point I was nearly admitted to hospital. Luckily this was not the case and somehow little Lotus managed to hold on, something we are so thankful for.

The sickness bug, weirdly almost gave my body permission to be sick, so whereas up to this point, I felt nauseous, but wasn’t sick. Yet since then I am now sick pretty much every day, on occasions several times. It got to the point that I was often sick when out in public, so I have rated different plastic bags on their permeability, with sports shop bags coming out on top.

At last, I think my morning sickness is now beginning to subside, having only been sick once in the past 10 days, although it must be noted that I do still feel incredibly nauseous  throughout the day.

Nearly 17 weeks Pregnant! What has it been like?

I have been so busy with work, pregnancy and trying to sell our house, I haven’t been able to write a blog for a while, so thought I would getting my writing hat on tonight and put down in words how these 17 weeks have been!

Well the time has flown by, we have had 2 midwife appointments, our first scan and heard the babies heart beat!!! Which have all been good, however there have been some difficult and challenging times, such as when to tell friends/family, choosing a name, morning sickness and illness.

We are both still so excited, and still feel so blessed that we have been given the gift of life, having been told that we may struggle to have children.

6 Weeks 5 Day (1st trimester)

Who would have thought that time could go as slowly as it does when pregnant? I for one didn’t!!!!!

On Monday 28th (oct) we have my first midwife appointment, I’m unsure what she does on what is called a bookings appointment, but by the sounds of it, she will ask for family history and I will have to fill in a lot of forms. My partner has been allowed the morning off work, so he can join me at the appointment, which is going to be great, as I’m very nervous about being pregnant and what if something goes wrong.

So how have I been feeling this week?

  • At times I get a dull like period pain (cramps,backache, tummy ache) not so bad I need painkillers thought.  I’m unsure if this is “normal” or not.  This is definitely something which I will be asking the midwife on Monday about.
  • Feeling very sick 24/7 but is a lot worst in the mornings, when I wake up!
  • Frequent-urination, I believe I am having to go to the toilet double as many times as I did last week!

I would Imagen to some people his all sounds very normal, but this being mine/our first time, we cant help but think of the worst outcome.

just over a week ago, I ended up calling 111 as I had bad backache and also tummy ache (cramps), I was soon told I had a kidney infection (after having to go to an out of hours doctors), so wouldn’t send me for a early scan, which is one way is a good thing, but would have been very nice to know everything is okay and Bean is in the right place (I’m extremely scared of having an  Ectopic Pregnancy  ) 

I’m sure everyone feels the same about waiting for the scan. I should think the next 8 months will be just as bad with worrying, but its every hard not too.  Will this start to change after the first scan?

We still cant quite believe we are having a baby naturally after being told by doctors we “could” have problems. Which is why We are trying not to let ourself get to excited and tell to many people, as its such early days.

Thank you for reading!!!

Comments more than welcome!

Monitoring cycles

Unless you are very lucky, getting pregnant needs a certain amount of planning. In that you need to have sex on or in the 3 days leading up to your ovulation. Ovulation is meant to occur approximately 10-16 days before the start of your next period, however this varies from person to person. So how can you know when you are going to ovulate?

Well we had been relying on a free app, called My Days, something that we reviewed in a previous blog (My Days App). My partner has always been a little sceptical of it, as he says, how can a computer program know all these crucial information, when given minimal information about me. I however, have been more believing of it until recently, as it has always said that I will start a day earlier than I actually do, and I assumed that it would see this pattern and change it, which it never did. This month it was 4 days out, which as the last blog suggested, caused us to think that I might be pregnant. When actually upon looking at the diary I have been starting consistently around the 15th or 16th of each month, so was if fact perfectly on time. I have now started a diary to record when I start and finish my period. I have also purchased some pregnancy and ovulation test strips, to allow me to know for sure both when I ovulate, and should I be late in the future whether I am pregnant or not. These I will record on the calendar section of this blog. So basically my own version of My Days, but that doesn’t guess when I will start and when I ovulate. Only I won’t put on when we have been intimate, as though I love all of our readers, we aren’t really that close!

So what ways are there of monitoring cycles???

My Days App

This app on further examination, can be changed so that you have longer or shorter cycles, and can be customised much more if you want to, although this takes time and patience.

My days app

Here is a screenshot from the apps page: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.chris.mydays

There are other apps available, however, My Days, has the highest rating so I can only imagine that the rest are even more difficult to use.

The other alternative is the old paper and pen method, of using a method to test when you are ovulating, as discussed in my ovulation test page, then record the times you are at high ovulation and when you are on your period. So how do you know when to test and what do you record?

One method is using the Billings Ovulation Method: http://www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org/. This requires you to monitor the feel of the secretions in your vulva. By monitoring these, over several months, you can work out your cycles, especially by feel.

However, this seems like a lot of effort and neither of us can get our heads round it. So we are going to use the test strips on 3 consecutive days mid way between my periods (which are currently between 25 and 26 day gaps or a 30 to 31 day cycle). I will start on day 10-12 of cycle. Obviously if I am not ovulating on these days, I will try for the next 3 days, to cover the 6 day average quoted by the majority of websites online. We will obviously do further blogs on the findings. However, as any mathematicians may have noted from our calendar, my cycles while similar are currently increasing length, so are my periods back to normal? Am I ovulating at all? Hopefully this new method of recording and the test strips that I have ordered will allow us to find out the answers and help us to get pregnant.

Please feel free to comment if you have any advice, are using a method of working out ovulation, that you find useful, or anything else about the subject covered in this blog.

Thanks for reading.

3 Days Late, Do We Dare To Dream???

As the title says I am 3 days late, this being said I am going by my app called “My Days” It says I should have started a few days ago. My other half doesn’t believe the app is ever right, as its is only an “app”. We shall see, I hope it is but I very much doubt it this time.

Do I dare dream??

I am a little unsure if I am pregnant the reasons for this is, I have all the normal signs of my  time of the month tummy cramps, tiredness and feeling a bit grumpy.

I have been late before (quite a few months ago now)  and it wasn’t anything, so I very much doubt its different this time, but cant help to think “what if” seeing as we have been trying this surely will happen at some point (being late because of being pregnant).

The worst thing about being late is the fact that my body has gone a bit crazy and I have started to feel sick and I also have heart burn but that’s nothing new I have had that for months now. I am not to sure why but I believe its probably all to do with me going on Google and searching for the signs of early pregnancy, like when people talk about nits you always start to get itchy.

I am very nervous about going out and getting a test in case I am “just late” and then I have wasted £10 on it. I will wait until I know for sure I have missed my period before going to get one.  Why cant there be an obvious sign that your pregnant from the start? It would be a lot easier or is there, and I just don’t know what the sign is?

While I wish and hope I am pregnant, as its what we have both wanted for the last year and a bit, I find it hard to believe I am, as I have all the signs that I am going to come on.

I will keep you updated, I am hoping I am wrong and I will be back in a few days saying YAY I am, but for now we shall wait and see.

Fingers Crossed!!!!

Thanks for reading.

Comments welcome.

Our Hopes for 2013…

So we have now entered a new year, and neither of us are particularly into making resolutions. However, we have been discussing what we hope happens in the next 12 months.

Well obviously we want are already strong relationship to keep growing and flourishing. As well as this we want  to become pregnant (and have a child depending when she falls pregnant). But if this happens it will mean lots more changes to our lives. We were planning on moving anyway, as my current commute to work is approximately an hour, and using stupid amounts of fuel, so moving near is really a no brainer. But also if there is a little one on the way, then we are going to need a bigger house, as our small one bedroom place is just about big enough for us and the pets, but would be too cramped with a baby as well.

So ultimately we are looking to move as well as getting pregnant. There is one other major change that we have recently realised we will have to do when she gets pregnant, and that is to change job (again)! I only started my current job in July, and love most aspects of it. However, it is a shift job, which currently isn’t a problem, as because my partner is currently unemployed, we still get to see large amounts of each other, which we wouldn’t be able to cope without. However, this would change when she gets a job. But more relevant to this post, if I was still working shift patterns, I feel that I would miss out on so much of both the pregnancy and the growing up of the child. Yes, working a 9-5 means that I would miss the school run and those things, but at least I would be around for bed time and getting them up for school.

So this could be a massive year, but as with this whole blog, it is all dependent on us getting pregnant, if that is even possible, as we are yet to get to the point where we can be tested for our fertility and chances of getting pregnant.

So fingers crossed that all goes to plan… We will let you know.

Thanks for reading and we wish you all a happy new year (and hope you had a good christmas)

9 Months On……

Its been 9 months since my last depo injection (in theory)….. ran out, although its  a year next month, from when I had my first and only injection.

So whats changed?

I’m now having regular one week periods, no more horrible bleeding all over the month. My days  app is still showing that my periods have been either a few days early or late, so still not back to normal (as such) but then again I never started and/or finished when it said I was going to be (even before I had the depo). Therefore I use it as a rough guide, to make sure that I don’t arrange to go swimming with friends around that time.

Its hard not to notice, this month (November) that I have all of a suddenly got extremely spotty. I look like a teenager again, which doesn’t help when I look about 16 and get ID for pretty much everything possible, even fuel… after I have driven my car into the petrol station. Another one was red bull (is there even a age limit to buying such a drink?) I mean its pretty rank but when I’m extremely tired and have to go out I will have one, but that’s once in a blue moon and only as I don’t drink coffee or tea.

I  have notice I’ve got my sex drive back, which as silly as it sounds when I was on the depo, I really did lose a lot of my sex drive as normal, I think it was messing my hormones up, which to me is a bit silly when the idea of it is so you don’t get pregnant, when having sex… although not having sex does also stop this…. So my partner is now making up for lost time…

I’m now finding it harder not to tell people we are trying for a baby. Then again, after my aunts reaction on Facebook yesterday, when a friend  put on my wall as a joke..how was the pregnancy going (because I’ve been feeling very sick lately) she said “OMG”, not exactly comforting. Its more a fact that she truly believed it, and was about to tell my uncle and gran… This started me thinking about how to tell people when we are pregnant. Its not saying its put me off having a baby as we are both in our 20s and we have are own house,can afford to bring a baby up. But what is the best way to tell people? Surely not on Facebook? Is it by texts, calls or emails? The reason I’m asking this, is because we have family all over the place from all over the UK, to Canada and Spain.

At the end of the day as hard as it would be to take if someone did criticize us for wanting/having a baby when we aren’t married really shouldn’t bother us as we aren’t religious and as nice as it would be to be married, it wouldn’t make any difference to the way we live, apart from our bank balance after the wedding.

I have stopped taking my anti depressants about 3 weeks ago now. I can’t say not taking them has made any difference to the way I feel. Which is a good thing, although the doctors say I’m still mildly depressed but I think this has more to do with the fact I’m tired a lot of the time and they have to put it down to something. Especially after the blood tests coming back fine. Saying this I’m having some more blood tests done on Monday. So in a way I hope something comes back from these ones, although don’t really believe it will.

I think that’s covered everything.

Thanks for reading.

Late again!!!

Well today marks with 4th day I am late for my period. My periods have been getting back to normal over the last 2/3 month. I wont allow my self to think what if….. am I pregnant, as I’ve been there before and got the t-shirt. This got me thinking about the good and the bad about being late or missing a period.

On one hand it can be a great thing to miss a period when your trying for a baby, but on the other hand it can bring such disappointment when you turn out just to be a few days out of sync with your regular cycle.

I’m sure a few friends would agree with this statement (although its not something which has happened to me personally) after having a one night stand or unprotected sex with your partner (because it feels better than using condoms) and then being a few days day late can be a real worrying time and unlike when a couple are trying for a baby, it can be a relief to start a period. As I’ve said in another blog about a friend who bought a pregnancy test and was saying how she would get rid of “it” if she was pregnant.

I very much doubt I’m pregnant by the fact, I’ve been getting a lot of period pain, such as back ache and tummy cramps and the usual headaches that go with this time of the month. But you do never know…

Am I pregant after 6months after the depo shot? Wishful Thinking???

If I am it would be rather funny, as just after when we decided to come off the depo, my partner said, it will be September when I would get pregnant. Something we only remembered he had said the other day. So we will soon find out if he is psychic.

Well its been about just over 2 weeks now since I had some bleeding, which as I’ve said before on another blog (If I went back in time would I have the Depo again), I can bleed anything from one day to a month without any break.

Since just over 2 weeks ago I stopped bleeding (which this time was only for 3days) we have been having regular sex to try and improve the chances of getting pregnant.

So what makes me think am I pregnant? Well my nipples are sore, I feel pretty sick, am very tired and also had an increased need to urinate  I have looked on a few websites including NHS Symptoms of Pregnancy and Emma’s Diary. One thing I noticed straight away after doing some research was these symptoms could be associated with other conditions as well so cant say they are 100% meaning I’m pregnant (oh how we would love it to mean we were). Most of the symptoms I have are way to early for being 2/3 weeks pregnant. But there is always a possibility.

I suppose its best to wait another month before buying a test, mainly as they aren’t cheap and I worry about getting mine and my partners hopes up. Another bad thing about the depo shot is I’m unsure if I have missed my period unlike before I could pretty much say 90% of the time when I was due to start but now its really hit and miss….

I have always thought and said it would take years to get pregnant and I really will be shocked when the time comes when we get pregnant and the moment I am trying to put it at the back of my mind that we are trying to get pregnant and remember the main thing is to have fun.

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