Appointments, Scans and sex of the baby

This blog is going to talk about scans, both 12 week and 20 week scan, general health checks, finding out the gender of the baby as well as screening for Down’s Syndrome. It will also discuss the appointments that we have had, both necessary and unnecessary.-

As we had been trying to conceive for 2 years before falling pregnant, as a couple we had discussed a lot of the questions that most couples face during their pregnancy.

Firstly did we want to find out the gender of the baby? This was a definite no! As we wanted that surprise on the day I give birth, of what are we actually having, added to this, you can find a lot of gender neutral items for the nursery and clothes, which still look really good. So why ruin the surprise, its like partially unwrapping your presents a month before christmas!

Secondly, the screening for Down’s Syndrome, did we want this? Again a definite no! My partner has worked for years within the area of special needs. Therefore as a couple we don’t see how even if the baby will have Down’s Syndrome, why we would have a termination. Children can live after being born at 20 weeks (my partner having worked with many), so how can a termination at this point not be anything other than murder? Especially, considering the length of time that we have been trying to get pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy because of a test that tells the parents the chance of the baby having Down’s Syndrome, surely all the effort would be wasted. As the test is not 100% conclusive, added to which it has been found to potentially increase the risk of miscarriage in the later stages of pregnancy. So really this was never a question, as the answer was always going to be the same. We were slightly shocked at our first midwife appointment, when she was shocked that we didn’t want this test, to the point that she asked me 4 times, before then asking my partner, as if he would change my mind. This really aggravated us, as surely it is our choice whether on not we have the test, and should not be judged on it, if its different to her view.

These were 2 items, which arise during your antenatal appointments, be it scans or midwife appointments. As it happens we have gone to more appointments than we need to, mainly because of us being nervous and unexperienced first time parents. Shortly after we found out that we were pregnant, we booked an appointment to see the doctor for them to complete a ‘proper’ pregnancy test and confirm that we were pregnant. At this appointment we were told that there was no need to book a doctors appointment, as the pregnancy tests you use at home are as accurate as the ones which the doctors use, so we could have just booked a midwife appointment.

This we did, unfortunately the midwifes only work on specific days at our local GP practice, meaning that my other half had to get time off, within a week of starting a new job, luckily his boss was very understanding. We attended this appointment, with what I must say was a very miserable midwife, her attitude was not as friendly and calming as we would have liked, especially as we had made it abundantly clear that we were anxious first time parents. Saying this a friend, who I currently nanny for, says she had problems with the same midwife. This said, she did complete all the relevant blood tests and measurements, which all came back clear, I was particularly happy that my blood pressure and heart rate were really healthy. I was dated as being due on the 13th June 2014.

We then had the long wait for the first dating scan, which wasn’t until 5th December, when I would be nearly 13 weeks pregnant. This was a day that was so exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, as what would we do if there was no baby? Or if it was in the wrong place? Luckily all was fine, and we got the most amazing scan picture, this was probably because we were so far gone, meaning baby was larger than it would have been at 8 weeks. The only update was that we were actually due on the 11th June 2014, which was good, as the 13th was a Friday, not that we are superstisious or anything!


Next we had a trip to the doctors shortly before our 2nd midwife appointment. We decided to go as I was having a lot of discomfort/pain on the right side of my lower abdomen. We weren’t seriously worried, as my continued morning sickness, suggested that it was a healthy baby. The doctor felt my belly and tried to find the heart beat, which he found, and it was one of the most amazing experiences to hear your babies heart beat for the first time. He confirmed that he didn’t feel anything was wrong,  and that it was just ‘growing pains’, but to come back if it continued. Our 2nd midwife appointment (with a different midwife), on Christmas Eve was to tell us the results of the blood test, were all clear, although I am Blood type O Negative, which means that I need to have an injection at 28 weeks and after birth, to prevent me producing antibodies, in case lotus is not the same blood group, which occurs if babies blood mixes with my own. This can cause problems for baby if this does occur, and can increase the risk of problems, should we get pregnant again. They also confirmed that we didn’t want the screening test, although this time as it was a different midwife, we weren’t made to feel bad for not wanting the test.

Next is the Anomaly scan, used to identify any problems with the way that baby is growing, which may make it unable to survive once born, which normally occurs at 20 weeks, with ours being on the 24th January 2014.

After that is 25 week Midwife appointment, where scan result is reviewed, and full antenatal examination is completed. At 28 weeks we have the same again, but this time having the Anti-D injection because of my blood type. Then at 31, 34, 36 and 38 weeks I have a full antenatal assessment, then at 40 weeks, all things permitting little lotus should enter the world as our little son or daughter.

Thank you for reading, I know some views will not be shared by others, and comments would be gratefully received.


Nearly 17 weeks Pregnant! What has it been like?

I have been so busy with work, pregnancy and trying to sell our house, I haven’t been able to write a blog for a while, so thought I would getting my writing hat on tonight and put down in words how these 17 weeks have been!

Well the time has flown by, we have had 2 midwife appointments, our first scan and heard the babies heart beat!!! Which have all been good, however there have been some difficult and challenging times, such as when to tell friends/family, choosing a name, morning sickness and illness.

We are both still so excited, and still feel so blessed that we have been given the gift of life, having been told that we may struggle to have children.

6 Weeks 5 Day (1st trimester)

Who would have thought that time could go as slowly as it does when pregnant? I for one didn’t!!!!!

On Monday 28th (oct) we have my first midwife appointment, I’m unsure what she does on what is called a bookings appointment, but by the sounds of it, she will ask for family history and I will have to fill in a lot of forms. My partner has been allowed the morning off work, so he can join me at the appointment, which is going to be great, as I’m very nervous about being pregnant and what if something goes wrong.

So how have I been feeling this week?

  • At times I get a dull like period pain (cramps,backache, tummy ache) not so bad I need painkillers thought.  I’m unsure if this is “normal” or not.  This is definitely something which I will be asking the midwife on Monday about.
  • Feeling very sick 24/7 but is a lot worst in the mornings, when I wake up!
  • Frequent-urination, I believe I am having to go to the toilet double as many times as I did last week!

I would Imagen to some people his all sounds very normal, but this being mine/our first time, we cant help but think of the worst outcome.

just over a week ago, I ended up calling 111 as I had bad backache and also tummy ache (cramps), I was soon told I had a kidney infection (after having to go to an out of hours doctors), so wouldn’t send me for a early scan, which is one way is a good thing, but would have been very nice to know everything is okay and Bean is in the right place (I’m extremely scared of having an  Ectopic Pregnancy  ) 

I’m sure everyone feels the same about waiting for the scan. I should think the next 8 months will be just as bad with worrying, but its every hard not too.  Will this start to change after the first scan?

We still cant quite believe we are having a baby naturally after being told by doctors we “could” have problems. Which is why We are trying not to let ourself get to excited and tell to many people, as its such early days.

Thank you for reading!!!

Comments more than welcome!

1-2 Weeks Pregant

Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions, stress, excitement and worry!

Stress: not because of me being a few weeks pregnant, but because I lost my car key in the local woods (while walking our dog). Bad enough on its own, but I was using the spare key and it had my number plate written on the key ring. After a good while looking and following out tracks, we found my keys and before you wonder yes that key ring will be taken off and replaced!

Worry: Is the test correct, this is the reason behind me taken 2 of the Ultra Early Pregnancy Tests, then using an ASDA Home Pregnancy Tests, they all came back with 2 lines (positive). I was starting to believe and asked my partner to buy a Clear Blue Digital pregnancy test.


As you can see this test says I am 1-2 weeks pregnant ( I was ovulating around 2 weeks ago, so I am guessing it more 2 weeks than 1?).

Also I am a bit worried, as I still have period pain, which isn’t stupidly painful (runs to get pain killers) but its definitely there. I am planning on visiting my doctor today, to ask for advice. I have looked online and it sounds normal, but I would like to have someone tell me this rather than me read what other people say.

Excitment:  Because we have been trying for nearly two years, this is the out come we wanted from the start!


As a couple we are trying to not get to excited as our luck, is pretty bad over all, so we are trying not to get stupidly excited! I can tell you now its bloody hard not to tell people the good/brilliant/amazing news!

We will keep you all updated, how we get on. Today at the doctors and all though this amazing journey!

Thank you for reading out blog!

3 Days Late, Do We Dare To Dream???

As the title says I am 3 days late, this being said I am going by my app called “My Days” It says I should have started a few days ago. My other half doesn’t believe the app is ever right, as its is only an “app”. We shall see, I hope it is but I very much doubt it this time.

Do I dare dream??

I am a little unsure if I am pregnant the reasons for this is, I have all the normal signs of my  time of the month tummy cramps, tiredness and feeling a bit grumpy.

I have been late before (quite a few months ago now)  and it wasn’t anything, so I very much doubt its different this time, but cant help to think “what if” seeing as we have been trying this surely will happen at some point (being late because of being pregnant).

The worst thing about being late is the fact that my body has gone a bit crazy and I have started to feel sick and I also have heart burn but that’s nothing new I have had that for months now. I am not to sure why but I believe its probably all to do with me going on Google and searching for the signs of early pregnancy, like when people talk about nits you always start to get itchy.

I am very nervous about going out and getting a test in case I am “just late” and then I have wasted £10 on it. I will wait until I know for sure I have missed my period before going to get one.  Why cant there be an obvious sign that your pregnant from the start? It would be a lot easier or is there, and I just don’t know what the sign is?

While I wish and hope I am pregnant, as its what we have both wanted for the last year and a bit, I find it hard to believe I am, as I have all the signs that I am going to come on.

I will keep you updated, I am hoping I am wrong and I will be back in a few days saying YAY I am, but for now we shall wait and see.

Fingers Crossed!!!!

Thanks for reading.

Comments welcome.

Is it just me?

On my Facebook and twitter it is over ran with people getting pregnant, I am so happy for all of my friends that they have been given a massive gift. But it does get to the point that it turns from just posting odd things on Facebook/Twitter to them showing off, I am not sure if they mean it, to come across like it does.

Like one lady who is on my friends list, who I have never meet in person but is a friend of a friends (I’m sure we all have friends online, we haven’t yet meet) well she has just found out she is 3 weeks pregnant after being with her my boyfriend for a couple of months. I can’t help but feel so jealous, we haven’t been trying for long as they say the depo can take 1 year to leave the body (so can’t count that in the time we have been trying). Not only has this lady got pregnant so fast, but has had a number of children taken into care. So does make you question why she is having another 1 after being with her new man so soon (why not wait and get a place together and make sure you can provide the best possible care for the new life you are bringing into the world). I don’t agree with abortion, so think its a good thing she isn’t going down that route. I think this person more than others has wound me up to the point that I am writing this blog, because every 5 mins we are getting updates about everything from things she has found on Google, clothes she has already bought, to how happy she is to give her partner his first child, the list goes on and on.

The world seems so unfair, when you think there are people who would make great parents and haven’t been given the gift of a baby.

I know this is all jealously talking, but its hard not to. When Facebook and twitter is over run with such people. I don’t want to lose friends over this. I mean only 1 friend knows we are trying and she only found out after asking what we were using not to get pregnant.

I am sure you probably have guessed my period started today GURRRR! So not in the best mood possible……..

Thanks for reading my rant, please feel free to comment.

So why do I have to wait so long?

Today I was at the doctors, for something unrelated to pregnancy, unfortunately. Anyway, as I was there, I thought that I would ask the doctor, when we would be able to be tested regarding mine and my partners fertility. She informed me that it would be 1 year after the 1 year it takes for the Depo-Provera injection to get out of your system. So that is 2 years after you finish the depo. Although hopefully I will be pregnant within 2 years this seems like a very long time.

I understand the reasoning (to a point), that it means people don’t finish the depo and immediately want to know if they are fertile. However if your body has returned to normal (normal periods) then why do you still have to wait for this 2 year point. Shouldn’t it be like a year  after they have returned to your normal pattern? And why do you have to have a year of trying, as be it by luck or planning, I am sure that within 6 months 99% of couples will have sex while she is ovulating at least once.

And yes there are testing kits that you can buy (as mentioned in previous blog: Fertility Tests) to monitor and plan when you are ovulating, but should I really have to pay for this, when there is an option available for free from the NHS.

Also, and I think that I have said about this before, but if the Depo injection does not leave your body for one year, then why do you have to have an injection every 3 months and not once a year??? And I know of a friend, who got pregnant while having the depo every 3 months as prescribed, so really I don’t think they actually know how long it will affect different people, but should it really be a widely used contraceptive if this is the case??? I often wonder this, and can find no suitably adequate answer either on the internet or from medical professionals.

So now its a case of waiting with fingers crossed, hoping that I am fortunate enough to fall pregnant within the next year and a half, before we are allowed to have tests on the NHS, to make sure that we are able to have children naturally.

Am I pregant after 6months after the depo shot? Wishful Thinking???

If I am it would be rather funny, as just after when we decided to come off the depo, my partner said, it will be September when I would get pregnant. Something we only remembered he had said the other day. So we will soon find out if he is psychic.

Well its been about just over 2 weeks now since I had some bleeding, which as I’ve said before on another blog (If I went back in time would I have the Depo again), I can bleed anything from one day to a month without any break.

Since just over 2 weeks ago I stopped bleeding (which this time was only for 3days) we have been having regular sex to try and improve the chances of getting pregnant.

So what makes me think am I pregnant? Well my nipples are sore, I feel pretty sick, am very tired and also had an increased need to urinate  I have looked on a few websites including NHS Symptoms of Pregnancy and Emma’s Diary. One thing I noticed straight away after doing some research was these symptoms could be associated with other conditions as well so cant say they are 100% meaning I’m pregnant (oh how we would love it to mean we were). Most of the symptoms I have are way to early for being 2/3 weeks pregnant. But there is always a possibility.

I suppose its best to wait another month before buying a test, mainly as they aren’t cheap and I worry about getting mine and my partners hopes up. Another bad thing about the depo shot is I’m unsure if I have missed my period unlike before I could pretty much say 90% of the time when I was due to start but now its really hit and miss….

I have always thought and said it would take years to get pregnant and I really will be shocked when the time comes when we get pregnant and the moment I am trying to put it at the back of my mind that we are trying to get pregnant and remember the main thing is to have fun.

Antidepressants and Pregnancy… Do they go?

Today I have been looking into Antidepressants and pregnancy before and during pregnancy.

Last Friday (17th August) I visited my GP, as was feeling down and very tired, as not sleeping, due to a variety of things which are going on in my life at the moment. He prescribed me some Sertaline 50mg to take and see how I get on.

So I was sitting here today thinking about how well antidepressants and getting pregnant/being pregnant go together, as 43.4 million antidepressants prescriptions were made last year. With approximately  25% of people experiencing some kind of mental health problem every year.

So today I got looking online and seeing what people say about the tablets I’m on (Sertaline) and other antidepressants.

From what I have found, there has been no evidence to prove that it causes problems with conception, although there is some possible research showing a slight increase in risk of heart defects if on Antidepressants like Sertaline, in the early stages of pregnancy, although they did concede it was more common if the mother was on more than one type of antidepressants. With regards to conception, I can find little to no evidence, of it causing any problems with conception. If anything, people have reported it being easier to conceive, as they say its easier to conceive, when you are in a happy and more positive mind set, which the anti-depressants allow.

As I am only intending to be on these short term, hopefully there should be no problems, but even so the problems seem to be very few and very rare, so cause for concern is not great.

Can Alternative Therapies help with getting Pregnant?

As you have probably guessed by now, we are trying to get pregnant. So are trying different ways that claim to help with fertility or getting pregnant. So one such way is alternative therapies.

Alternative therapies, are a range of different methods of treatment, which are more focused on treating the body as a whole rather than just an injury/ailment or body part. One such therapy, which a close friend is qualified in, is Bowen Therapy. It is very effective at relaxing the body, and encouraging it to promote healing. My partner has used it to help sporting injuries for about 7 years, with great effect, more so than traditional modern medicines. It works by using specific moves in a specific positions on the body, to promote normal energy flow. There is one move over the coccyx, which releases a lot of energy, and is believed to help with improving fertility.

So I will be having regular treatments, including the coccyx move, to try and help us get pregnant. Even if this move in particular does not help with fertility, I feel that as Bowen Therapy as a whole decreases stress and improves body well being, then these factors will also have a large effect on both mine and other peoples attempts to get pregnant.

So furthermore, I think that all therapies could have a place in helping with couples getting pregnant. As it is often said that stress and being under the weather, are common reasons which inhibit couples getting pregnant. So therefore any therapy that causes release of stress and helping the body to function more effectively would help. These could include Reflexology, Massage, Craniosacral Therapy, Counselling, Homeopathy, Reiki, Osteopathy, Chiropractor, Yoga and many more (see for a list).

As all of these have some effect, even if the effect is only placebo, the brain is a very powerful tool, and who are we to say that this effect will not help a couple get pregnant?

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